A Hysterical route to Happiness
by Mistressdickens
Summary: SEASON 6 SPOILERS: Inspired by the amazing gif sets on tumblr of a certain kiss scene in series 6 ep 1, this looks at how the conversation might have gone had Mrs Hughes started to hyperventilate as Carson suggested they should call the whole thing off.


**A/N: I'm supposed to be writing a wedding day fic, but I've been too distracted by gif sets of the kiss scene and the fact that Mrs Hughes looks like she's about to start hyperventilating as Carson starts to reject her. I've never actually experienced a panic attack, so if this isn't very accurate, apologies. I hope it does justice to a possible other way this scene could have gone. I don't own these characters obviously.**

Throughout the confrontation with Daisy, Mr Carson had not looked at her, and now they were alone he still refused to do so, moving around the desk and gesturing to the door as he suggested that they joined the others.

She knew at that moment her decision making time had run out, and she needed to talk to him before the wall between them became solid. Even though she hardly knew how to express her thoughts, she stepped towards him. She did so awkwardly, the disquiet of her mind echoed in her halting motion.

'Before we do', she started and was relieved her voice was still able to make him pause. 'I know I've been putting you off.' She paused – he was not looking at her properly, which denied her any comfort on which to draw and bolster her flagging courage. She had to push on, although she was still unsure how to express her turbulent thoughts. Not after he had been so open, so willing to expose his heart for her sake. Perhaps that was where she should begin. 'Mrs Patmore spoke of your …. Conversation.'

'I knew she would.' Finally he spoke, but although he turned to her, his eyes did not catch hers, but slid past. 'I hope we didn't shock you between us.'

'No. I'm not shocked.' She could have smiled if he didn't look so serious. She was starting to feel the ridiculous elements of the whole situation and wondered how swiftly she could set his fears to rest. Yet still he danced about her, refusing to ask a direct question, which meant she felt unable to speak in more than disjointed observations.

'I wouldn't want you to think I'd inveigled you into a situation which was not what you had expected.'

If this had been any other conversation she would have laughed and rolled her eyes. Inveigled indeed. She was devastated to think he even considered it possible. 'I could never think that.' She shut her eyes against the situation, wishing they could just get back to the ease they had formerly shared. His next words were not at all what she had expected.

'Right. Well, if you've had second thoughts.'

She blinked. Once. Twice. Second thoughts? What on earth was he thinking? _How_ could he doubt? He continued, bringing further pain to both of them.

'I think we should let the staff know in the morning.'

She stared at him in horror as he stood before her still unable to look her in the eye and proceeded to break his heart into a thousand pieces.

Her breathing increased as the implications of what he was saying hit her with full force. He continued speaking although she barely heard what he said. He was letting her go. Why? He was breaking his heart for her, because he loved her so much and wanted her to be happy. How could he think she would be happy without him. She couldn't. It was unthinkable. She could see no way to stop him from this reckless course of destruction which would devastate both of them.

The walls of his office seemed to be closing in on her. All at once her corset, that garment used in vanity, was absolutely too tight. She could not breathe. The only time she had ever fainted was the first time she had worn the thing, but now. Now she felt her head swim as she tried to focus on his words and find a way to stop him destroying the one thing that had brought her happiness. But she couldn't breathe. It consumed her thoughts. She tried to still her breathing but he was right _there_ demolishing his heart and she was powerless to stop it. She could not breathe.

He had stopped speaking, but did not seem to notice she was falling apart in front of him. He had turned away. She had to stop him, but all that she could drag from her throat was a strangled sound which she'd only ever heard from animals in great danger.

It was enough to make him pause, although he didn't turn to face her. Summoning all the strength she had, her hands fluttered towards him and she choked out an agonised 'I can't breathe' before the panic set in again. She felt she was about to be crushed by the corset which held her vice-like and refused to allow her to regain the composure she so desperately needed.

He was at her side instantly and guided her to his chair by the fireplace, knowing instinctively she needed to keep as straight as possible.

'I'll fetch Mrs Patmore.'

'No!' The cry was wrenched from her and sounded far too loud in the silent room. Dimly she was aware of a clock ticking and then wondered why that was so important when her world was crumbling. She hadn't meant to be so vehement, but if he left, she was certain he would never come back, and she couldn't bear the loss.

She had succeeded in stilling him and she felt his eyes on her as she drew deep breaths and tried to lower her heartrate. He did not move a muscle and when she finally felt strong enough to raise her head, she saw the complete and utter devastation he felt writ large all over his face. That _she_ should have been the cause of it all was terrible and as she stretched out her hand to him, she burst into fierce sobs which almost reignited her hyperventilation.

'I've not had second thoughts. I haven't. I'm just a foolish old woman.' She sensed his imminent protestations and plunged further into her rambling speech, gripping tight to the hand she had managed to claim. 'I _love_ you Charles, but how can I possibly please you the way I am now? How?'

She might have broken into fresh sobs had she not been abruptly pulled to her feet and drawn into a fierce and crushing embrace. 'I will repeat what I said to Mrs Patmore' rumbled a voice near to her ear. 'because it doesn't appear to have sunk into that stubborn mind of yours. You are beautiful. What I love and want is you as you are now, not some imagined girl of forty years ago. I love _you_ Elsie Hughes, you complete me. I have never been more sure that you will please me. You already do.'

She drew out of his embrace to assure herself of his sincerity and instead found only the deepest love and adoration in his eyes. She smiled at him. It was somewhat watery, for tears still threatened, but he didn't seem to care. The remaining wet tracks on her cheeks were wiped away by his gentle fingers and they then moved to cup her face as he drew her towards him and their lips joined. It was meant to be a brief embrace, but as the tension left both of their bodies, she could not stop the small hum of delight at the way his lips felt against her.

The sound caused him to swiftly remove his hands from her head and place them on her waist instead. He drew her closer and buried his face in her neck and lavished it in hot open mouthed kisses.

With her lips free, she clung to him and whispered 'I love you' over and over until he reclaimed her lips for one more devastating kiss before they broke apart and wrapped their arms about each other in an embrace which told of the shock they felt at the nearness of their destruction and the delight that the strength of their love had been able to save them.

 **A/N: Ok, thanks to Deeedeee for the comment on tumblr that Mrs Hughes had the look of someone watching their loved one break their heart in front of them. God this was difficult to write. I don't do angst really! I'd love to see other takes on possible hysteria induced by Carson's words! In the meantime a little review would mean a lot!**


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